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Lilly Likes Amsterdam

Awesome Amsterdam

Comedy Walks – Amsterdam

Comedy Walks – Your Side-Splitting Amsterdam Tour

You can imagine how this happened, can’t you? Four or five people were in someone’s café, smoked to the bone, and someone said;

“Wouldn’t it be funny if we had comedians do tours?”

And from there, Comedy Walks around Amsterdam were born.

Everyone loves a laugh and a holiday laugh is essentially important. Travelling with a fractured group? Do your backpacking friends need time to get to know each other? Want to see the best bits of the city, while keeping it light-hearted and avoiding a bad buzz? This is the guided tour you didn’t know you needed in your life.

What do we love most about this? Apart from their ability to put an ear-to-ear grin on your face, they also sporadically change route depending on who is leading you. You can do this tour across three different days and see different sights, hear different jokes, and feel like you have done something different, each time.

Where Will the Tour Take Me?

No idea! Your route depends entirely upon which comedian you receive on the day. What we do know is that some of the sights on the itinerary may include:

The Old Amsterdam Orphanage

Built by Aldo Van Eyck in the late fifties, the old orphanage is a bit of an architectural marvel. Aldo obviously decided that just because it was built to house homeless kids didn’t mean they couldn’t have pretty spaces to look at.

When this was built, Eyck was going for complex, citadel-esque shapes that all merge into one another in unknown ways. You can barely tell what goes where. It is like if Escher designed buildings except the stairs all go somewhere and somehow nobody is walking upside down.

Definitely one of the cooler buildings of the Dam – and all covered in your comedy walk. We promise their jokes are better than ours.

The Royal Palace on the Dam

This historic building represents all of the glory of Amsterdam. It was built in the 17th century but is now mainly used for state visits. The King still stays here when he is in town. He does a New Year’s state meet and greet thing for the rich and famous but unless you pay in golden blood you won’t get an invite.

When not in use it is open to visitors. You wouldn’t want to visit without a Comedy Walks tour guide though… there’s only so much old furniture and grandiose fixtures you can take before you get bored from all that repetition.

The National Monument on the Dam

The fairly impressive National Monument towers above all else and can be seen for miles. We won’t say it’s phallic, but it’s definitely ‘up there’. It was built in 1956 to replace a monument that used to be there. The one that used to be there celebrated the failure of the Ten Day’s Campaign. What was the Ten Days Campaign? It was the ten days in the 1830’s that the British tried, and failed, to invade Amsterdam.

You can’t see us right now but the British contingent of Lilly Likes just hid their faces in shame.

Anyway, after the end of the Second World War a flagpole was placed in the Dam Square to commemorate it. Politicians at the time thought that a permanent memorial would be more fitting. The flagpole was turned into the er… National Monument (we’re not sure what it is actually supposed to be?) was born.

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National Monument

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The comedians do it better than us. Go on the walk.

The South Church

Better known locally as the Zuiderkerk, the South Church was built in the 17th century – but that is nowhere near its biggest claim to fame. The Zuiderkerk was an important influence in Rembrandt’s life and eventual artworks. Best of all; Claude Monet once painted it rather spectacularly.

Monet

And just for some comparison: here is how much that same view has changed in three hundred years…

Same view nowadays

The renaissance style church was designed by Hendrick Keyser and contains a carillon of bells built by the famous Brothers Hemony. So yes; this is a fairly historically important location covered by the Comedy Walk crew.

The Dutch East India Company

This place is no longer the functioning East India Co. HQ simply because they don’t exist anymore. The East India Company were incredibly well known throughout the world as a force to be reckoned with. They did some good, they did a lot of bad… they were involved in more wars than anyone likes to admit to.

This place is no longer the functioning East India Co. HQ simply because they don’t exist anymore. The East India Company were incredibly well known throughout the world as a force to be reckoned with. They did some good, they did a lot of bad… they were involved in more wars than anyone likes to admit to.

Essentially, they were an amalgamation of warring trading companies in the 17th century. They were formed by a government that had had enough of their underhand tactics as they tried to best each other. The government made them all into one firm, so they had to work together; then they unleashed them on the rest of the world.

The East India Company are frequently remembered for all the textile goodness they brought to the world. Anyone who wants to know the truth of the matter should read Bernard Cromwell’s books about Richard Sharp in India. That man did more research than any other writer ever – and he doesn’t have very nice things to say about them. Let’s just say war is good for profit and leave it at that.

Yeah. Somehow Comedy Walks take the morbidity from this place and make it funny… we’re not sure how they do it, but they do!

What Else is Included in a Comedy Walks Tour?

As well as getting to grips with all of these lovely landmarks, the Comedy Walks tour can talk you through all of the local knowledge. You don’t just get the kind of vague details we have here – you get full-on stories about people’s great-grannies, local tales of mystery and intrigue, and the funniest memories out of Amsterdam.

Who Suits the Comedy Walks Tour?

Everyone who wants to have a little bit of fun on their Amsterdam trip. Take a break from all those smoky cafes and get out into the open air with a few jokes and some good historical information. The tours are great for anyone who wants a laugh during their break. That being said, if you are in Amsterdam as part of a larger group of people then this is the ideal way to group bond and include everyone.

It’s also hilarious, which always helps.

It’s not Just Amsterdam

They don’t just operate in Amsterdam, either. The comedy Walks Tour has been such a successful idea that you can take part in them in major cities across the world. There is a Comedy walks Washington DC, a Comedy Walks Berlin, and various others with especially well known comedians. Of course, the Amsterdam walk is our favourite, but that’s only because we can’t vouch for the others (yet!).

How, Where and When can they Take my Money?

The Comedy Walks Tour of Amsterdam is available for the tiny price of €16.50 (2020 prices) per person. It takes place every Saturday and lasts for about an hour and a half. Maybe a little longer if your comedian gets carried away. It departs at 3 pm sharp so don’t miss it. You can book tickets here

If you are interested in the non-Amsterdam events  then you can view their full list of activities by following this link. We have been assured that the other tours are just as fun. If you spend a few minutes browsing their photo gallery you can see by the big smiles that the proof is in the pudding… why not give it a try? It’s not drinking and it’s not smoking so it just might be the healthiest thing you do in the Dam this year.

While we are talking healthy; check out one of the 5 Vegan Junk Food Bars throughout the city. They give plenty of opportunity for a healthy meal that doesn’t harm the planet with cattle farming… plus their burgers are ah-maze-ing. Don’t say we didn’t warn you…

Other Considerations

There are other things you should think about, before you do this walk:

  • Seriously: if you can’t stand or walk for an hour and a half with a walking aid then don’t do it. Unfortunately the sights are spaced out and there is mobility involved. If you think you will hurt, then maybe send a friend and get them to film it for you.
  • Amsterdam is a bit of a maze. This tour helps orient you. It’s best completed at the start of your holiday, if you can.
  • Looking for a different idea for a date? What better way to start an Amsterdam date night and make sure your partner has a smile on their face? Why not follow it with a meal on the Floating Chinese or a visit to the De Ton Ton Club?
  • Take water – especially if you are doing the walk either stoned, or in summer. You may not have the chance to stop for a drink.

And that’s all our precautions for ensuring a good time on an Amsterdam Comedy Walk. Have fun out there!

…And let us know if they steal any of our jokes…

If you are a budding comedian out there who think they would be awesome at Comedy Walks, why not get in touch with them, they are looking for people to join their team